Quotations by Unknown

"There is one way to handle the ignorant and malicious critic. Ignore him."

"It is usually best to be generous with praise, but cautious with criticism."

"Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own."

"It is strange that we do not temper our resentment of criticism with a thought for our many faults which have escaped us."

"The wages of sin are unreported."

"The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer."

"The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel."

"If it is to be, it is up to me."

"The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets."

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."

"Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious."

"Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it."

"Fishing gives you a sense of where you fit in the sceme of things - Your place in the universe...I, mean, here I am, one small guy with a fishing pole on this vast beach and out there in the blue expanse of ocean are these hundreds of millions of fish...laughing at me."

"A slipping gear in your M203 grenade launcher can cause it to fire when you least expect it. This could make you very unpopular with what is left of your unit."

"may the road rise to meet you,
may the wind be always at your back,
may the sun shine warm upon your face,
the rains fall soft upon your fields and,
until we meet again may god hold you in the palm of his hand"

"May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows your dead"

"rem tene, verba sequntur
(keep to the subject, and the words will follow)"

"Ignorance is king, many would not prosper by its abdication."

"Before the Gulf War started, the Iraqi Army was the the fourth largest in the world. Now, its the second largest army in Iraq."

"At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats."

"Relative calm is expected in South Central Los Angeles for the next several weeks, as looters stay home and try to program their new VCRs."

"A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong."

"J.F.K.--The Man and the Airport"

"Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, without guilt, without evil, without a witness against me, without one whom I have wronged. I am one pure of mouth, pure of hands."

"A stitch in time would have confused Einstein."

"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top ."

"Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better."

"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius is limited."

"DISCLAIMER: A society where such disclaimers are needed is saddening."

"Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others."

"If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator ---- It would be a good idea to just leave them there."

"Mahatma Gandi was what wives wish their husbands were: thin, tan and moral."

"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

"Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd."

"Every big problem was at one time a wee disturbance."

"#1597. Everything is deemed possible except that which is impossible in the nature of things."

"#3528. The law respects form less than substance."

"#3529. That which ought to have been done is to be regarded as done."

"#3530. That which does not appear to exist is to be regarded as if it did not exist."

"#3532. The law neither does nor requires idle acts."

"#3533. The law disregards trifles."

"#3535. Contemporaneous exposition is in general the best."

"#3537. Superfluity does not vitiate."

"Most people rust out due to lack of challenge. Few people rust out due to overuse."

"#3546. Things happen according to the ordinary course of nature and the ordinary habits of life."

"#3547. A thing continues to exist as long as is usual with things of that nature."

"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."

"This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go."

"On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime."

"What we choose to call sanity is a big house where the mad have no mothers."

"After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done."

"Blessed be the meek, for they shall inherit six feet of the earth."

"Virginity is in the lies of the beholder."

"Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open."

"A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with it."

"In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out."

"Socrates seems to be the philosophical napkin with which the ensuing cultural thinkers of history wipe their mouths of pedantic ooze."

"Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing."

"Adolescence is the stage between infancy and adultery."

"How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law; if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts; if neither is on your side, pound on the table."

"All general statements are false."

"They devoted the city to the lord and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it - men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys."

"Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway."

"Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date."

"It is twice as hard to crush a half-truth as a whole lie."

"Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty."

"be careful in revising those immigration laws of yours.
we got careless with ours."

"All power corrupts, but we need the electricity."

"Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an over- dose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center."

"Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful."

"I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed."

"A venturesome minority will always be eager to get off on their own... let them take risks, for Godsake, let them get lost, sunburnt, stranded, drowned, eaten by bears, buried alive under avalanches- that is the right and privilege of any free American."

"Take only pictures, steal only time, leave only footprints."

"Women remember the first kiss, men remember the last."

"Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read."

"Would I had phrases that are not known, utterances that are strange, in new language that has not been used, free from repetition, not an utterance which has grown stale, which men of old have spoken."

"There is nothing like good food, good wine, and a bad girl."

"An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible."

"A chinese philosopher once had a dream that he was a butterfly. From that day on, he was never quite certain that he was not a butterfly, dreaming that he was a man."

"This document describes the usage and input syntax of the Unix Vax-11 assembler As. As is designed for assembling code produced by the"

"After all, he thought he was God."

"If debugging is the art of removing bugs, then programming must be the art of inserting them."

"The primary purpose of the Data statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable Pi can be given that value with a Data statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change."

"Equal Rights were created for everyone."

"1. at the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop rapidly. do not pass him or otherwise disrespect him.
2. if pedestrian obstacle your path, tootle horn melodiously. if he continue to obstacle, tootle horn vigorously and utter vocal warning such as "hi, hi."
[...]
5. beware of greasy corner where lurk skid demon. cease step on, approach slowly, round cautiously, resume step on gradually."

"Every culture has its distinctive and normal system of government. Yours is democracy, moderated by corruption. Ours is totalitarianism, moderated by assassination."

"All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors."

"where a calculator on the eniac is equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 1
2 tons."

"Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses."

"I always knew i would look back on my tears and laugh but i never tought i would look back on the laughter and cry"

"A threat is basically a means for establishing a bargaining position by inducing fear in the subject. When a threat is used, it should always be implied that the subject himself is to blame by using words such as..."

"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"My Karma ran over your dogma."

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."

"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight, very clean. When it arrives it is perfect. It puts itself in our hands. It hopes we learned something from yesterday."

"Thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations, and thou shalt be called, the repairer of the breach, the restorer of paths to dwell in."

"Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence."

"After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done."

"What I said never changed anyone. What they understood did."

"Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

"Fools rush in where fools have been before."

"We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

"Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defence of peace must be constructed."

"Never lose hope."

"He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit."

"Eat before shopping. If you go to the store hungry, you are likely to make unnecessary purchases."

"Long ago we stated the reason for labour organizations. We said that union was essential to give labourers opportunity to deal on an equality with their employers."

"There was never anything by the wit of man so well devised, or so sure established, which in continuance of time hath not been corrupted."

"He is not deemed to give consent who is under a mistake."

"An act against my will is not my act."

"Faith, Hope, and Love remanined. And the greatest of these is Love."

"Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused."

"For the uncontrolled there is no wisdom. For the uncontrolled there is no concentration, and for him without concentration, there is no peace. And for the unpeaceful how can there ever be happiness?"

"The downside to being better than everyone is that people seem to think you are pretentious."

"The way to final freedom is within thy self."

"only when the last tree has been cut down
only when the last river has been poisoned
only when the last fish has been caught
only then will you find that money cannot be eaten."

"Everything you do or say is public relations."

"Knowing is half the battle."

"Our lives are like the course of the sun. At the darkest moment there is promise of daylight."

"A healthy family is sacred territory."

"Between the wish and the thing life lies waiting."

"The worst prison would be a closed heart."

"Dedication is not what others expect of you, it is what you can give to others."

"Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night."

"Confidence in nonsense is a requirement for the creative process."

"Use soft words and hard arguments."

"God be between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk."

"Usability is like oxygen -- you never notice it until it is missing..."

"Nor need we be surprised that men so often embrace almost any doctrines, if they are proclaimed with a voice of absolute assurance."

""reality" is the only word in the english language that should always be used in quotes."

"The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground...."

"Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty."

"Not all those who wonder are lost."

"All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man is at last compelled to face with sober senses his real conditions of life, and his relations with his kind."

"Failure to prepare is preparing to fail."

"Love is not blind, it sees more not less; But because it sees more it chooses to see less."

"True friendship is seen through the heart not through the eyes."

"A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child."

"In the sixties, the world was normal and people took acid to make it weird. Nowadays the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal."

"Good seamanship is recovering from an incident at sea. Great seamanship is avoiding an incident at sea."

"My utterance is mighty, I am more powerful than the ghosts; may they have no power over me."

"If you fear change, leave it here."

"Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have."

"A life spent making mistakes is not only most honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

"In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it."

"We do not hate those we fight; we do not love those we defend."

"If a pessimist is always right, is he a realist?"

"there are people who make things happen,
those who watch what happens,
and those who wonder what happened."

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance."

"Sometimes the only sense we can make out of life is a sense of humor."

"Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground."

"The human brain is like a railroad freight car -- guaranteed to have a certain capacity but often running empty."

"To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so."

"A library is an arsenal of liberty."

"A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something."

"Courage atrophies from lack of use."

"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."

"Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused."

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward."

"Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth."

"Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason."

"I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. I know no way of judging the future but by the past."

"A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

"If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also bring them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny draws across your path that day."

"Ideals are like stars. You will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But, like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides and following them you will reach your destiny."

"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are."

"A diplomat is a man who says you have an open mind, instead of telling you that you have a hole in the head."

"Life is like a piano... what you get out of it depends on how you play it."

"Use the talents you possess -- for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best."

"What man does not understand, he fears; and what he fears, he tends to destroy."

"Those who stare at the past have their backs turned to the future."

"The one whose judgment counts most in your life is the one staring back in the glass."

"What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things."

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."

"Life has no rehearsals, only performances."

"Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up."

"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell."

"Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers."

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt."

"The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going."

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."

"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg."

"If you fear nothing, you love nothing. If you love nothing, what joy can there be in life?"

"He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot."

"Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember."

"The atom, being for all practical purposes the stable unit of the physical plane, is a constantly changing vortex of reactions."

"Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can do is take a complete rest."

"An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout."

"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang the best."

"There is only one success- to be able to spend your life in your own way."

"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly."

"Success always occurs in private and failure in full public view."

"Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others."

"Feelings are real and legitimate; children behave and misbehave for a reason, even if adults cannot figure it out."

"The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience."

"The words you speak today should be soft and tender. . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them."

"love is my sword,
goodness my armor,
and humor my shield."

"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television."

"We are drowning in information and starved for knowledge."

"If you make the world a little better, then you have accomplished a great deal."

"It is difficult for sorrow to intrude on a busy life."

"Immortality lies not in the things you leave behind, but in the people your life has touched."

"Man is a gregarious creature, more so in mind than in body. He may like to go alone for a walk but he hates to stand alone in his opinion."

"The ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of threads in the fabric of fate. Many strands bring the couple and their families together and spin their lives into a fabric that is woven on their children."

"Find expression for a sorrow and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy, and you will intensify its ecstasy."

"Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."

"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top."

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain."

"If you listened hard enough the first time, you might have heard what I meant to say."

"The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour."

"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."

"Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half."

"The only real failure in life is the failure to try."

"He who ceases to learn cannot adequately teach."

"Words lead to deeds.... They prepare the soul, make it ready, and move it to tenderness."

"The heart is wiser than the intellect."

"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater."

"For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it."

"And remember, no matter where you go, there you are."

"The shortest answer is the doing the thing."

"Education is not received. It is achieved."

"None of us are responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the way we act when they do happen."

"We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears."

"A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner, neither do uninterrupted prosperity and success qualify for usefulness and happiness. The storms of adversity, like those of the ocean, rouse the faculties, and excite the invention, prudence, skill and fortitude or the voyager. The martyrs of ancient times, in bracing their minds to outward calamities, acquired a loftiness of purpose and a moral heroism worth a lifetime of softness and security."

"Where we go and what we do advertises what we are."

"Advice is the only commodity on the market where the supply always exceeds the demand."

"Successful men follow the same advice they prescribe for others."

"Age withers only the outside."

"You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea"

"Where ambition ends happiness begins."

"The best answer to answer to anger is silence."

"The size of a man is measured by the size of the thing that makes him angry."

"A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about."

"People who know the least always argue the most."

"If you look for the positive things in life; you will find them."

"What we are doing at the moment is more that just one thing added to the rest; it is a memoir."

"Behavior is what a man does, not what he thinks, feels, or believes"

"The human mind must believe in something, so why not let it believe what it does believe."

"He that boasts of his own knowledge proclaims his ignorance"

"It is better to live richly than to die rich."

"Many things are worse than defeat,and compromise with evil is one of them."

"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."

"Desire for security keeps littleness little and threatens the great with smallness."

"A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams."

"We cannot be too earnest, too persistent, too determined, about living superior to the herd-instinct."

"The truly educated man is that rare individual who can separate reality from illusion."

"Shortchange your education now and you may be short of change the rest of your life."

"A college education never hurt anybody who was willing to learn after he got it."

"Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them"

"Create the kind of climate in your organization where personal growth is expected, recognized and rewarded."

"Catch your people doing something right and let them know you appreciate it."

"enthusiasm is that kindling spark which marks the difference between the leaders in every activity and the laggards who put in just enough to "get by.""

"Enthusiasm is very good lubrication for the mind."

"There are many roads to hate, but envy is the shortest of them all."

"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence."

"Excellence is best described as doing the right things right - selecting the most important things to be done and then accomplishing them 100% correctly."

"Exp