"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head."
"Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it."
"Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off."
"In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded."
"An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on."
"It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored."
"Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time."
""i meant," said ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" death thought about it. "cats," he said eventually. "cats are nice.""
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
"Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate..."
"The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking."
"[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners."
"what our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "why is it so dark in here?""
"Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove."
"tourist, rincewind decided, meant "idiot"."
"A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read."
"Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease and burnt crunchy bits."
"If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter."
"Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact."
"For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks."
"One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores."
"When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror."
"He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."
"No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for."
"The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo."
"i meant, said ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile? death thought about it. cats, he said eventually. cats are nice."
