"Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune."
"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."
"A good listener is usually thinking about something else."
"Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst."
"It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed."
"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."
"A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on."
"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."
"The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them."
"The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."
"Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature."
"The safest way to double your money is to fold over once and put it in your pocket."
